Hey Friends,
It’s been awhile since I’ve written a post just for all the single gals out there. I haven’t forgotten about you… and I certainly haven’t forgotten what it feels like to be single.
I’ve been married for a little over a year now, but I remember well all the many thoughts and feelings that accompany singleness and waiting. It’s easy to get discouraged and impatient as you wait and wonder if you’re ever going to get married.
Today, I want to share some very important thoughts you MUST remember as a single young woman!
Things You MUST Remember As a Single Young Woman
Singleness is Not a “Lesser” Status
“There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:34
Many of us mistakenly believe that being single is somehow a “lesser” status than being married or in a relationship.
What you must remember is that singleness does not define you as a person. God created every person in a unique way and for a unique purpose. All women were created to be a help meet, but that doesn’t mean every woman was created to be a wife. (Read God’s Purpose for You as a Woman).
We find single men and women in the Bible and married men and women in the Bible. Just because someone is single does not mean that their story or their purpose is somehow less important than that of a married person.
In fact, Paul tells us that an unmarried person has a greater ability to love and serve God because they are not required to love and serve a spouse. (See verse above.)
Whenever you are tempted to think that singleness is less important than marriage, remember that singleness is not a “lesser” status – in fact you have an even greater capability to love and serve God as a single young woman.
You must be asking God for wisdom.
“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” James 1:5
The decisions you make in your single years are crucial and serious. Don’t believe the lie that you can just have fun in your twenties and not grow up until you’re thirty. That’s a worldly and carnal idea that society feeds us.
It’s in the young adult years that we make some of life’s most serious decisions…
- Should you go to college – if so, then where, and what should you study?
- Should you pursue a career/ministry – which one?
- With whom should you begin a relationship and marry?
- Where will you settle down and live?
There are so many decisions to make that it can be overwhelming, scary, and sometimes confusing… but it doesn’t need to be that way.
God told us to ask for wisdom (James 1:5) and if we ask He WILL give it to us! God has given us the freedom to make our own decisions… but we need wisdom and discernment to make the right choices. You must ask God for wisdom and continually be seeking it in His Word.
>>> One of my favorite books about decision making is Discover Your Destiny by Cary Schmidt. If you are in the major decision making years of your life you need to read this book!
Life is made up of seasons – including singleness.
“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:” Ecclesiastes 3:1
Unless God does not have marriage in his perfect plan for your life (and trust me, His plans are perfect regardless if they include a spouse or not!) then singleness is just for a season.
What good can you focus on during your season of singleness?
Singleness gives you more time to study the Word of God.
“Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15
Almost everyone is busy – and busy ALL the time. However, as a single young woman you (most likely) have less time commitments and responsibilities. Because of this, you have even more time to devote yourself to the study of God’s Word. Now is the time to learn how to study the Word of God and deepen your walk with Him. It’s never too late to cultivate a deeper understanding of God and His Word… but why wait until you’re a busy mamma with small children when you can do it NOW? Take the time to study God’s Word and grow in your walk with Him!
Here are some blog posts to help you if you’re not sure where to start:
- 10 Ways a Young Woman Can Saturate Her Life With Scripture
- 10 Ways to Grow in Your Walk With God
- 8 Ways to Grow Spiritually This Fall
Singleness gives you more time to work hard and save up.
“Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labour shall increase.” Proverbs 13:11
Do you want to know what you can do now that will greatly improve your future?
Work hard and save money.
Money is not everything. You can certainly have a good future and a good marriage even if your bank account is small. However, if you work hard and save your money NOW, you will have a lot less financial worries and struggles later on.
By working hard and saving money, you can be sure that you are financially prepared for whatever God has planned for your future. If marriage is in God’s plan for you, then you will be able to breathe a little easier when you get married with a stable financial situation.
Like I said before… money is NOT everything and God has promised to supply our needs but when it comes to money we need to have a balanced approach. We must trust God to provide for our needs (which includes a job) but we must also be diligent to find a job, work hard, and be wise with the money God gives us!
>>> Click here for a helpful book on finances.
Singleness allows you to pursue your hobbies and goals.
“The thoughts of the diligent tend only to plenteousness..” Proverbs 21:5
Now, don’t get me wrong here. You can still pursue your hobbies and goals when you get married. However, as a single woman you have more time, more freedom, and maybe even more money, then when you are a married woman.
What are some things you would like to accomplish before marriage? Make a list of goals and hobbies you would like pursue. Here are some things you might want to pursue before marriage:
- Focusing on your spiritual and personal growth
- Furthering your education
- Learning how to cook
- Starting a blog (click here to learn how!)
- Participating in (or leading) a Bible study
- Starting a small business
What can you add to this list? What do you want to accomplish and pursue as a single young woman?
It’s okay to socialize and be friendly.
“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly…” Proverbs 18:24
I believe that it’s a man’s role to pursue a woman. However, that doesn’t mean that a woman should passively avoid men and never engage in conversation with them.
As a single young woman I made friends with the guys at my church, I chatted with young men and was not afraid to ask questions and get to know them. There is a difference between being friendly and being a flirt.
If it’s obvious that you like a young man much more than a friend, then, you are going too far. If a young man is not bold enough to pursue you on his own without lots of coaxing from you… he is not going to be a strong leader in your relationship. It’s okay to be friends with young men, but don’t be forward. Wait for a young man that will pursue you, and not the other way around.
Ask God for the wisdom to be friendly and outgoing but not forward.
Your life has already begun.
“The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” John 10:10
So many young women believe that their life isn’t going to start until they meet and marry “Mr. Right”.
There is nothing further from the truth.
Your life has already begun… don’t waste this precious time in your life by worrying and waiting for a future husband. Live your life to the fullest. Pursue God, choose joy, and enjoy the abundant life that God has already given you.
Life is a gift. Don’t squander it simply because you don’t have a husband.
>>> Read this post: How to Love Life and Live it to the Full
Want to Read More?
Click here to view my other articles on singleness.
Here are my favorite books for single women:
Final Thoughts
Well, my Friend, I hope you will remember these important things and take heart as you live out your single season. Remember that God has a plan and purpose for your life…. embrace it wholeheartedly regardless whether you’re single or in a relationship.
Before you go… I would love to know…
What do you think is (or was!) the hardest thing about being single?
Please share your thoughts in the comments below – it will give me insight for future blog posts!
See you soon,
I absolutely loved this article! It provided such wonderful tips and guidance. I would have to say one of the hardest thing about being single is seeing all of your godly friends getting into relationships as young people and or around your age getting married. Also another struggle is being told “Oh you’re still young you have plenty of time”. Let’s just say we’re getting closer to thrilling thirties. LOL! Lastly another is when friends or family members constantly asking “You have a boyfriend yet?” After a while it gets discouraging. I pray for my husband everyday whoever he may be and for God to mold both of us into what He wants us to be for each other. Also praying for patience is VERY hard sometimes. Having supportive loving parents does help though.
Hi Brittany! I am glad you enjoyed this article – I hope it’s an encouragement to you!
Thank you for sharing some of the hard things – it’s helpful for me to know what other young women are struggling with. Please take heart and continue to have that prayerful spirit when it comes to your future! ❤️
Thank you for this post! What a sad reality this world’s view on relationships is. There is simply no dedication, no commitment, no seriousness. The word “intentional” simply does not exist. I’ve felt a little more disheartened about singleness lately due to peer pressure on my volleyball team and hearing all my teammates (which are all 2 years younger than me) talk about their boyfriends. Then I wonder how I for one moment wished for what they have. NO! The way they are going about romantic relationships is a far cry from anything I’ve ever prayed for. Most days I feel extremely blessed in my current state in life, but I am still learning to love and embrace my singleness. 🙂 One thing I’d add to this list is to remember that singleness is oftentimes God’s protection! If we’ve asked God to protect and guard our hearts, a period of singleness is often His answer! We should be more than willing to wait for His perfect timing. <3
Love what you said about protection – you are so right. God uses the single years to mold us into what we need to be…and yes, it protects us from getting hurt while waiting for the right one!!
Sometimes it is difficult to wait on God’s timing (especially as the years go by…and by…) but I once read something very wise and I often repeat it to myself: “I would rather wait for God’s Isaac than create my own Ishmael.” God has plans for me, and his plans are far better (for me and more importantly, for his purposes and glory) than anything I could bring about by my own striving. I have “left the pen in his hands” even if that means I will never be married.
Hi Megan, I so appreciate the right spirit you have! I never heard that quote before but it’s so good! Please take heart and continue to remember that God’s plans for our life are perfect and beautiful! ❤️
Hello Rebekah,
Thank you so much for what you share on your blog. I need these truths and reminders! I tend to struggle with fear instead of trusting God to give me the desires of my heart. I keep trying to choose for myself!
I was wondering… Could you add a “Print this article” feature to your blog posts? I enjoy printing out helpful articles and adding them to a binder where I can read them at any time. 🙂 Thank you! God bless!