What kind of women do we need to become before marriage?
The last post I published was 8 Things to Look for in a Future Husband. While the future marriage topic is still “hot” here on the blog, I wanted to follow up the “husband post” with 8 thing a young woman needs to become before marriage. Once again the list to follow is my personal list… the things I know I need to be working on and cultivating in my heart and life. I don’t know very much about marriage yet…. but I do know many of the things that the Bible has to say about love and marriage. After reading this post, I would encourage you to study the Bible, talk to godly wives, and read good (biblically sound) books so that you too, can determine what kind of a woman you want to become before marriage.
I fall very short from many of the things on this list… but it’s a good starting place (it is by no means a perfect and complete list – I could add many more things!)
At the end of this post I am sharing the Biblical responsibilities of a wife. It’s the “companion” list to the 7 Biblical Responsibilities of a Husband that I shared in my previous “husband post.” You can read that post right here.
8 Things A Young Woman Must Become Before Marriage
1) a Woman Who Walks with God
I struggle with this… honestly I do. I want God and His Word to be first in my life but so often I let other things come before my time with Him. If marriage is God’s will for my life, I need to make sure I am spiritually strong. I need to have a close walk with God and I need to know what His Word (the Bible) says. I also need to know how to apply the Bible to my life. This will help me in every area of my life -not just marriage! A missionary lady once told me that my husband WILL disappoint me but God never will. I need to become a woman who walks with God, knows His word and applies it!
2) A Woman Who Is Submissive
I have heard about Biblical submission long enough to know that it’s a big thing in marriage. I know that a wife is supposed to submit to her husband’s leadership and the decisions he makes. I also have no way of knowing how hard this may be someday. One way I can practice Biblical submission is by submitting to the authority of my parents, my pastor, my teachers, and other people who have authority over me. Because I am commanded to submit to the leadership of my future husband (Eph. 5:22-23, and 1 Peter 3:5-6). I need to become a woman who submits.
3) A Woman Who Is Respectful
After reading Motivating Your Man, God’s Way I now see that respect for your husband is huge. Husbands are commanded to love their wives (Eph. 5:25) but a wife is commanded to reverence (respect) her husband (Eph. 5:33). My future husband needs respect. Whether he deserves is or not, I am to respect my future husband because that is what God commands. It’s God’s way. Yes, this is completely opposite from what the world tells us. In our minds, people must earn our respect. As a wife, I will need to learn how to respect my husband whether he has earned it or not. I can practice this by respecting my dad, my brothers, and my male friends. I must become a woman who is respectful.
4) A Woman Who Loves Unconditionally
Proverbs says that “love covereth all sins” (Prov. 10:12). My future husband will be a sinner just like me, and he is going to be just as imperfect as I am. In order to overlook his faults and imperfections I will need to put on love, continually and unconditionally. While in many ways, respect is more important than love (to a man) I will still need to love him… and keep loving him no matter what. I can practice unconditional love now by unconditionally loving the people in my life… first of all, my family, then my friends, and other acquaintances. I must become a woman who loves unconditionally, no matter what, like Christ.
5) A Woman Who is Patient
I really struggle with patience, and I know I am not alone. However, the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13 that love “suffereth long” and “beareth all things”. In order to be a loving wife, I will need to be patient and long suffering. I cannot let little (or big!) annoyances try my patience. I will need to be loving and patient. I can practice this now by being patient with my family members, with the children I babysit and the people I interact with each day. I need to become a woman who is patient.
6) A Woman Who Is Faithful
Once I say “I do” I will be committed to that one man till “death do us part” (see 1 Cor. 7:39). This will require faithfulness… physically, emotionally, and mentally. God created marriage to be one man and one woman for life. I can begin to cultivate faithfulness now by saving myself physically, mentally, and emotionally for my future husband. Before marriage I must become a woman who is faithful.
7) A Woman Who is Content
When (or shall I say, if?) I get married, I am going to need contentment. I will need to be content with my husband, our finances, our home, our family situation, our possessions, etc. Being discontent in any of those areas will be a burden and a grief to my husband. There may be a lot of things I face in marriage that could make me discontent… I need to learn contentment now! I can learn contentment now by being content with: my possessions, my job, my relationship status, etc. Contentment is something I can learn (Phil. 4:11). Before marriage I must become a woman of contentment.
8) A Woman Who Is Hardworking and Diligent
As a wife, I will be the keeper of the home (Titus 2:5). I sincerely hope I can be a stay at home wife and mother. That (in all honesty) is my “dream job”. I know stay-at-home moms are looked down upon in our culture and society, however, it is the most important job any woman could have! In order to be a good keeper of the home (whether I will work outside of my home, or not) I will need to be hardworking and diligent. It will be my duty to look well to the ways of my household and to work willingly with my hands (Proverbs 31). I can learn to be a hardworking, and diligent woman now. Whatever my hands find to do, I can ask the Lord to help me do it with all my might (Ecc. 9:10). Becoming a hardworking and diligent woman will help me in the future when I must care for a husband, a home, and a family. Before marriage I must become a hardworking and diligent woman.
There is Still So much more
In many ways this list feels so incomplete. I didn’t even mention becoming a woman who is meek and quiet (1 Peter 3:3-4), or becoming a woman who is thoughtful, kind, disciplined, and so much more! However, I am sure this list gives you an idea of the kind of women we need to become in preparation for marriage.
Following is a shorter list of the biblical responsibilities of the wife. This was a list given to me (you can read the responsibilities of the husband in this post).
The Responsibilities of the Wife
(A List Given to Me)
- To be a suitable helper to her husband (Gen. 2:18)
- To be a companion to her husband (Gen. 2:18; Mal. 2:14)
- To develop unity with her husband (Gen. 2:24)
- To reverence her husband (Eph. 5:33)
- To love her husband (Titus 2:4)
- To submit to her husband (Eph. 5:22-24)
- To give physical love to her husband (1 Cor. 7:3-5)
I Would Love to Know
- What things do you think I should have added to this list?
- Which things on this list do you need to work on the most?
Feel free to leave your answers in the comments below! I ♥ reading comments from my readers!