8 Ways to Be More Outgoing

8 Ways to Be More Outgoing

I’ve mentioned a couple times already that I’m trying to get out of my comfort zone, be more outgoing, and try new things.  One thing that makes me uncomfortable is meeting new people and carrying on conversations with people I don’t know very well.  As fun as it is to meet new people it can just plain awkward.  Thankfully, I know I’m not alone in feeling this way!  Maybe some of you can relate?  Here is what we can do…

To become more outgoing there is one thing we must always do first.  We should always begin with a prayer for courage.  I was reminded yesterday that nothing we do in our own strength will last even if it seems to work in the present.  Only what’s done through Christ’s strength will last.

After we ask for courage there are some practical ways we can work at becoming more outgoing.

8 Ways to Be More Outgoing

1) Smile  

When I make an extra effort to smile I automatically feel more friendly and outgoing.  Most people are naturally drawn to those who are happy.  We all want to be happy so we gravitate towards those who are.  So please, let’s just smile.

2) Have something to say 

We can only talk about the weather for a short time.  Then what?  It’s super helpful to think of things ahead of time.  If we already know who we are going to talk to then coming up with things to say is even easier.  If we are meeting people for the first time we can come up with a go-to list of questions to ask or things to say. (Talk about occupations, hobbies/interests, the food, and if necessary…. the weather.)  We need to have something to say.

3) Find a common interest  

Whenever we manage to find a common interest we should run with it (no pun intended if you’re a runner!).  Finding a common interest makes people click.  It is so refreshing to find someone who likes something we like.  When talking to people it seems as if walls come down when we find that common denominator.  Conversation is no longer forced and awkward but natural and enjoyable.  We need to try hard to find that common interest -there is bound to be at least one!

4) Be knowledgeable 

This follows close on the heels of #3.  The more knowledge we have the easier it is to find a common interest.  (e.g. Because I’m a nanny I can comfortably talk to other moms about babies and kids.  I don’t know everything they do, but caring for kids has given us something in common).  Another reasons to try new things!  Let’s make an effort to be a little more knowledgeable; our conversations will get easier as we discover more common interests.

5) Talk to strangers

…as in the waiter/waitress, the cashier, the lady who holds the door for us etc. etc.  I don’t mean a full blown conversation.  Just being nice.  Wishing them a nice day, commenting on the weather, or even briefly joking with them can go a long way in making us feel more comfortable around others.  Let’s talk to other people.

6) Have some “targets”  

Before we go to a group activity, party, or church service, we can think of a couple people to talk to.  They can be our “targets.”   We can think of things ahead of time (#2) and make the effort to go and talk to them.  And of course I don’t mean our close friends.  We should choose people we only know so-so.  Let’s have some targets!

7) Take a friend 

If #6 is too scary, take a friend. Two are better than one and friends can help each other be more outgoing and meet new people.

8) Laugh 

Last but not least, have a sense of humor and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself.  No matter how outgoing we are, there will be times when we need to laugh things off… Whether it be an insult from someone else or a silly little blunder of our own.  Everyone enjoys people who laugh and have a sense of humor. Let’s be one of them and just laugh 🙂

Why be more outgoing?  

We are here to glorify God not ourselves.  (Sometimes that’s hard for me to remember.)  By being friendly and outgoing we can show more people the love of Christ.

A Worksheet Just For You

I created  simple, two-page worksheet to help you apply some of these things I talked about in this post.  It’s simple to download.  You can find the worksheet on my free resources page for my email subscribers.  Simply subscribe to my list (click here) to get the password for complete access to ALL my resources!

I Would Love to Know

Are you shy, outgoing, or somewhere in between?

Already outgoing? Share some more tips for us in the comments!

Rebekah Joy (2)

6 thoughts on “8 Ways to Be More Outgoing

  1. these are great tips girl! sometimes, I’m probably too reserved — I like to listen to what others have to say more than chime in my own thoughts. I think it needs a good balance of both though!

  2. I LOVE to talk to people. BUT, sometimes I just don’t know what to say! And sometimes I’m worried like “What if I talked too much?” or “What if I made myself look stupid?” lol So even though I love talking to people and do it quite often, I still get nervous talking to people! Usually when I go to church, I have at least one person in mind that I want to make a point to talk to. I also find that it helps a lot in conversation if I focus on the other person’s interest instead of my own. For instance, I might not can find something immediately that I have in common with them, especially if I don’t know them very well. So I just let them tell me about themselves and ask them about things that interest them, not necessarily things that interest me. And sometimes I actually learn something! lol

    1. That’s a great point -letting people talk about themselves is a great way to start. It’s usually easy for people to talk about their own interests. It spares us from having to do a whole lot of talking and can give us more things to ask about to keep the conversation flowing. Thank you so much for sharing!! 🙂

  3. I love your idea of thinking of things to say ahead of time! I never thought of that, but my greatest anxiety in social situations is not knowing how to start conversations. What are some common topics you plan to ask about?

    1. Thanks, Heather! Topics would vary depending on the person (which is why I like to know who I am going to meet -but of course it doesn’t always work that way!). Schooling (past or present), where they live, what they do for a living/job, hobbies, family… any one of those usually help to start some sort of conversation. 🙂

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