Okay, so I’m a newlywed wife myself. I married a super sweet and handsome man just a little over four months ago. And let me tell you….  I love being married. That’s probably because my hubby is so perfect for me, and he’s my best friend. But God has truly blessed the two of us, and we are extremely happy.

Soon after the honeymoon {a.k.a. the best week of my life!}, I soon began thinking about setting some goals for myself in this new role as Adam’s wife.

I grabbed my notebook and headed up to our attic to think. {Seriously, I like to hang out in the attic – it’s one of the coolest rooms in our house!}

Settling down among blankets and pillows, surrounded with beloved photographs of friends and family, I came up with my five goals as a newlywed wife. I’ve been wanting to share these goals for several months, but I decided to wait until now since this is the month that every one is thinking about new year’s goals.

Even though the following five goals were originally written for me, I’ve tweaked them so that they can be applied to your own life (whether you are newly married like me, or you’ve been married for a long time -even if you’re still single and want to be a wife!). So with all that being said, I truly believe that you can benefit from setting these five goals.

5 Goals for Every Newlywed (And Wanna-Be) Wife

1. Cultivate a Consistent Walk with God

“Blessed is the man that heareth me, watching daily at my gates, waiting at the posts of my doors. For whoso findeth me findeth life, and shall obtain favour of the Lord.” Proverbs 8:34-35

This is an important step in any stage of life, and it’s crucial as a newlywed. A consistent walk with God (daily Bible reading and prayer) will help your marriage in so many ways. When you set aside time each day (preferably in the morning) to spend time with the Lord, you will experience and gain God’s…

• Wisdom
• Comfort
• Forgiveness
• Love
• Knowledge
• Understanding
• Encouragement
• Grace
• Peace
• Joy
• Patience

Whatever you need, you can find it when you spend time with God and His Word. What wife (or wanna-be wife) wouldn’t benefit from time spent with the Lord?

Each time you pick up your Bible to read it, or bow your head to pray, it’s a new opportunity to receive from the Lord the things that your are lacking in your heart, your life, and your marriage. Only when we cultivate a consistent walk with God, and begin to reflect that character of His Son Jesus Christ,  can we truly become the wife that God wants us to be, and the wife that our husband truly needs.

So how can you cultivate a consistent walk with God? Here are some quick tips!

• Choose a time and place. Decide where you will spend your time with the Lord. Your bed? A favorite chair? The kitchen table? (I personally love using my bed, or the comfy chair we have in our bedroom). After choosing your place choose a time (consistence is key!). I personally like to have my devotions in the morning shortly after I wake up or soon after breakfast – but choose what works best for you and you schedule/lifestyle.
• Gather what you need. To spend time with the Lord you really only need your Bible! However, many women (myself included) find it extremely helpful to use other “tools” as well. This could be a study Bible, a notebook for journaling and jotting down thoughts and verses, a devotional book (this is the one I am still using and loving!), and a hot mug of coffee or tea. 🙂
• Make it happen. I’m learning that the best way to have a consistent walk with God, is to simply choose to do it, and make it happen! I know this is often easier said than done, but if we truly want to do something we will make time for it. So, each day, choose a portion of Scripture to read, mediate on God’s word, journal and write down what you learn, spend time praying (simply talking with the Lord), and watch your relationship with God blossom and flourish!

>>> For more tips on daily devotions, read this post: Six Tips for Daily Devotions and Bible Study

>>> For even more learning… check out these great books that will help you cultivate a consistent walk with God:

• A Place of Quiet Rest by Nancy Leigh Demoss
• Overcoming Your Devotional Obstacles by John O’Malley

2. Respect and Admire Your Man ♥

“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” Ephesians 5:33

I’ve written a few times about the difference between men and woman and their “needs”. Women crave love and affection, whereas men crave respect and admiration. Obviously men need to be loved too… but most importantly they need our respect and admiration. They need to know that we are proud of them, we believe in them, and that we will give them the respect that they crave.

Learning to respect your man will improve and help your marriage in more ways they you can imagine. I’ve noticed that when I make the effort to show my hubby that I admire him, it makes a big difference! Usually his eyes light up and his face breaks into a big smile just because of some simple words of praise! So how can you respect and admire your man? Here are some easy (yet effective) ways…

• Notice and thank him for the little things he does (like when he washes the dishes, makes the bed, or opens your car door).
• Compliment and praise him for all his accomplishments (little or big).
• Read The Five Love Languages to discover your hubby’s “language” and learn how to “speak” it.
• Refrain from any/all negative talk about your hubby (whether he’s present or absent).
• Listen to his ideas.
• Fulfill his emotional and physical needs.
• Pray for him – and make sure he knows that you are praying for him!
• Submit to his leadership in the home, and the decisions that he makes. (Ephesians 5:22-24)

Begin applying the above ways to respect and admire your man, and you are bound to see changes (for the better) in your relationship.

For Wanna-Be Wives: Begin learning how to respect the men in your life (your father, brothers, boyfriend, etc.). Study Ephesians chapter 5 and learn the proper Biblical roles for husbands and wives. Prepare now to be the wife that God wants you to be!

>>> For more ideas read this post: 10 Ways to Prepare for a Godly Relationship

>>> For even more learning… check out these helpful and insightful books for wives:

• Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs
• Becoming the Woman of His Dreams by Sharon Jaynes

3. Nurture Your Home

“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.” 1 Timothy 5:14

“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:4-5

I know this sounds like a strong statement, but I believe a woman’s proper place is in the home. I realize this may not be possible for everyone, but I have seen what happens to a home when the wife is so busy working outside the home that she doesn’t have the time to care for her home properly.

Of course, whether a woman works outside the home or not, that decision should ultimately be up to her husband. He is the one who is the head of the home, therefore if he wishes his wife to remain at home, than she should be willing to comply, and vice-versa.

Regardless of whether you work outside the home or not…. there are ways that you can truly nurture your home…

• As a wife, you set the tone of the home! If you are cheerful, joyful, and happy, then the atmosphere of your home will reflect that. So, choose to be joyful!
• Keep things clean. A dirty, unorganized home, is not the most pleasant place to live. Nurture your home by keeping things clean and organized to the best of your ability.
• Provide your husband and family with healthy and delicious meals. I realize that everyone has a different idea of “healthy” food, but do the best you can for your home and budget. Make foods that your husband enjoys, as well as food that nourishes your body.
• Continue learning how to keep your home and make it a place of refreshment and comfort. Home is the place to rest, relax, and have fun – care for your home with this in mind.

For Wanna-Be Wives: Learn to help care for the home. Learn how to cook, clean, and nurture the place where you live, even if you aren’t yet a wife. This is the time to learn how to care for your future home!

>>> For further learning… check out these great books on the home and homemaking. (These are some of my favorites!)

• Life Management for Busy Women by Elizabeth George
• Simply Clean by Becky Rapinchuk
• The Complete Book of Home Organization by Toni Hammersley

4. Keep Growing

“A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:” Proverbs 1:5

Personal and spiritual growth is very important for everyone – married or not! However, it’s a comment tendency for some of us to get “comfy” just the way we are and then we stop growing. Whether is spiritually, emotionally, physically, or mentally, we should strive to stretch ourselves in new ways and grow as a person. Your hubby will appreciate the steps that you take to become a better woman, and naturally, this will improve your moods and feelings as well!

Here is a simple list of ways to make sure you never stop growing…

• Pray. Ask the Lord to help you grow in wisdom and knowledge. This is a prayer he loves to hear and answer! Ask the Lord to help you grow spiritually, emotionally, etc.
• Read. Books are simply the best way to gain new knowledge and information. To be a better wife, read books that fall under that category. Read books by Christian authors about spiritual growth, marriage, homemaking, parenting, and other things that interest you. (You can check out my list of recommended books here.)
• Set Goals. Set goals for yourself and do what it takes to complete them. Just the process of setting a goal and aiming for it’s completion will stretch you and help you grow in new ways.
• Learn from other women. Find other godly women that you trust and learn from them! Ask them questions, share prayer requests, and ask them for help in your areas of personal weakness.
• Take a class. If you need help in areas of cooking, cleaning, gardening or anything related to your role as a wife – take a class. There are loads of online classes available online, or you can research local classes in your area.

Whether you are married or not…. make it your goal to never stop growing. Keep asking the Lord for wisdom and knowledge, set goals, read books, and continue to grow.

>>> For further learning… check out these books on personal and spiritual growth…

• Push Yourself by Abb Thomas
• Small Changes for a Better Life by Elizabeth George
• The Disciplines of a Godly Woman by Barbara Hughes

5. Bloom Wherever You Are Planted

Wherever God plants you as a wife… be determined to grow and bloom right where you are. Life changes, things come and go… and sometimes changes are hard. But if we as wives are determined to trust in the Lord and grow and bloom wherever we are… than we will flourish in spite of the various circumstances we face.

Final Thoughts

Whether you are a new wife, single, or you’ve been married for a long time… I hope that you will be able to take and apply these five goals to your own life. By God’s grace we can be the wife that He wants us to be, and the wife that our husband needs and wants! Remember that God’s Word is the best guidebook that we have… and if we want to become a better wife, that’s the best place to start!

I Would Love to Know

• Are you married or single?
• What are your goals as a wife, or as a single woman preparing for marriage someday?

Please share your thoughts and answers in the comment section!