“How can a young woman prepare for marriage, today especially if she has no idea who she is going to marry?” I have asked myself this question many times. I want to be prepared! I just read a book (more on that later!) that helped me answer this question… it also helped me come up with my own list of ways I can start today to prepare for that unknown future. I think this list might help you as well…
1) Establish a strong relationship with the Lord
A missionary lady once told me that people will always disappoint… including my future husband. The only One who will never let me down is the Lord. We must take the time now to have a strong relationship with God. It’s the most important relationship we could ever have, and it’s one that will affect all other aspects of our life. Life only get’s busier, we must learn to make Him a priority today.
2) Know God’s Word
God’s Word shows us how to act, and how to live with others. Knowing God’s instructions about life will help us live our life the right way today, and will help us in the future if we get married.
3) Learn to be self-less
It’s really hard to put off selfishness -it’s so natural! But in order for any relationship to thrive, we must learn to be self-less and put others first. This one thing alone could make a huge impact in our future roles as a wife and mom.
4) Start serving
We should serve willingly and joyfully. As a wife, our job will include serving our husband. This doesn’t mean becoming a doormat, but it does mean we should be willing to make his life easier by doing acts of service for him. Let’s watch for ways to serve others today… offer to help a young mom at home, grab a cool drink for someone who needs one, volunteer for ministry opportunities at church… there are so many ways we can practice the habit of serving! And, speaking of habits…
5) Practice good habits
Bad habits are a pain to live with. If we don’t take the time to break bad habits now, they will be much harder to give up later. Yes, our future husband should love us for who we are, but why would we want to make it hard for him? We should… learn good table manners (I have to work on this one!) no one likes to watch or hear a disgusting eater. We should take care of our bodies, keeping them neat and tidy. We should stay reasonably organized and neat with our possessions. If we have bad habits/tendencies, we must work on breaking them now.
6) Don’t gossip
Oh boy. This is yet another thing I really need to work on. I am not a malicious gossiper but I do love sharing and hearing bits of “news.” If we have a problem with gossip now, we will probably struggle with talking negatively about our husband someday. We must avoid that. Let’s stop the gossip.
7) Be trustworthy
Trust is HUGE in relationships. Honesty is a must. Proverbs 31 speaks of the virtuous woman and verse 11 says, “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her…” How can we be trustworthy? We can… a) tell the truth -always! b) do what we say we will do c) be that person that others can come to without fear of having their problems spread around.
8) Be wise with money
If we have any debts we must pay them off as soon as possible and avoid further debt like the plague. We should not give our future husband the burden of being responsible for our debts or lack of savings. Neither should we give him the grief of an over-indulgent, shop-a-holic, wife. If we study Proverbs 31 we will see that she was very wise with money; she was a financial asset to her husband.
9) Learn to be healthy and fit
As a wife we will be responsible for the health of our husband and family. We should do what we can to learn about health and become healthy ourselves – we should manage our diets and exercise. We should strive for health because is pleases God, it will make our lives better, and will please our future husband.
10) Be content
Life isn’t always going to give us what we want. We must learn to be content with our homes, our possessions, our jobs, our circumstances… we don’t want to be a burden to our future husband by wanting and wishing for things he can’t give us, or complaining about things he has no power to change.
11) Study other couples -especially the wife
We can learn a lot by watching other couples. We can learn what to do and most certainly what not to do. I love watching the ones that still hold hands, the ones that act like they really are best friends, and the ones that miss each other when they’re apart. I also take mental notes when I see a wife respond the right way or the wrong way to her husband. We should watch others and learn from them.
12) Learn Self Control
Just think of the blessing we could be to the man we marry by learning self-control. He won’t have to worry about us spending his hard-earned money, blowing up in his face when we’re angry, or getting agitated and over-worried when life get’s stressful. We must get control of our eating, our emotions, our spending, our thoughts, our time, etc. Cultivating this one trait will go a loooong way.
There are so many more things we could do to prepare for marriage someday. But hopefully this list is a starting place for you and me. Even if we never get married, all these things will help us in our life… how about choosing just one and working on it today? I’m starting with #1 and #12 🙂 It’s hard to have one without the other!
Now, about the book that prompted this list:
This book was very helpful in giving me ideas on how to prepare for marriage, today. More than a couple of the things I mentioned in my list were sparked by this book. The couple that wrote this book used real life examples and challenged me to work on myself first, to prepare now -even if I’m single and especially if I’m single. I did learn lot from reading this book, but here are some things I did not like:
- The couple who wrote this book are definitely contemporary Christians. Some of their life style choices and hobbies came across as worldly and materialistic.
- They used many different Bible versions.
- I did not agree 100% with all of their advice, although the majority of it was good.
- Some of the photos on the cover show too much skin and not enough modesty.
I received this book from blogging for books. It inspired me and now I hope you feel inspired to learn more about how you can prepare for marriage someday. Marriage is a huge endeavor, and worth preparing for!
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