Hey Friends,

This past Sunday (September 16th) Adam and I celebrated our first anniversary! I still can’t believe it… one whole year of being husband and wife. It’s been such a wonderful year and it’s gone so incredibly fast.

Today, I want to share 10 Thoughts on Our First Year of Marriage… I hope this post will show you that marriage doesn’t need to be perfect to be absolutely wonderful! ♥

10 Thoughts on Our First Year of Marriage

Marriage is pretty amazing.

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

I realize that the first year of marriage is going to look different for everyone but for us it was pretty amazing. In the first few weeks, I was blown away at how “fun” marriage was – and still is! My husband likes to describe marriage as “playing house in real life.” I’m so thankful the Lord blessed us with a wonderful first year… I am looking forward to all that will come in this next year together.

It’s not “mine” it’s “our’s”.

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.” Ephesians 5:31

A hard transition for me was switching to the “one flesh” mentality. When I was single everything (money, possessions, time, etc.) was “mine” to do with as I pleased (within reason of course). As a married couple my time, money, and possessions have gone from “mine” to “ours”.

When I go shopping, I no longer feel like I’m spending my own money because I’m spending “our” money (even though I work a job, Adam is still the main provider of our household).

When I want to decide how to spend my evening or my weekend, I need to take my husband’s wishes into consideration because it’s not just “my time” it’s now “our evening, and our weekend.”

Can you see the transition that needs to take place? Sometimes it still feels really weird but for the most part we’ve adjusted to everything being “ours”. Of course there will always be some things that are “mine” and “his” – I don’t plan to claim his ties anytime soon, and I’m sure he feels the same about my pantyhose. 😉

Being a good homemaker is a skill.

“She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.” Proverbs 31:27

Transitioning into the role of being a homemaker was pretty smooth – thanks to my mom who made me cook and all the books I read about homemaking.

However, there are still aspects of homemaking that need fine-tuning and new skills I want to learn! Thankfully, I found some pretty great resources that have helped me SO MUCH in my new role as wife and homemaker. (I will be sharing all my favorite tools and resources very soon – and I can’t wait.)

If you are single, I would encourage you to spend time learning the skills of homemaking now, before you get married. It will help you so much in the years to come.

If you are married and want to improve your wifely skills, then stay tuned for an upcoming post on my favorite tools and resources from our first year of marriage!

>>> Related Post: 12 Ways to Prepare for Marriage

Life can get really busy – even though it’s just the two us.

“So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom.” Psalm 90:12

Even though our schedule isn’t very complicated with just the two of us  – we still get very busy. My husband has two jobs that are very seasonal, so when work is in season he works a full week with long days. I too have a nanny job, my blog, and other responsibilities to juggle. If we’re not careful, it’s easy to over-schedule ourselves. For the sake of our relationship, excess busyness is something we need to guard against both now and in the future.

We must make time for each other.

“Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” Ephesians 5:16

I have a bad habit of getting so focused on the tasks at hand, that I forget to stop and take time for my husband. My husband is great at prioritizing time with me but sometimes it’s really a struggle for me to put on the brakes, sit down, and just spend time with my husband. I am extremely grateful that my husband is so good at this. When we spend quality time together, our communication and our overall relationship thrives. Regardless of our busy schedule, we must carve out quality time for each other!

It’s normal to disagree at times.

“If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” Romans 12:18

Adam and I don’t agree on everything. Thankfully, our disagreements are mostly about little, minuscule things.

Our longest and biggest argument was about restaurant leftovers. No joke, we argued (and laughed) for an hour and a half for our “rights” to restaurant leftovers once they cross the threshold of the fridge. To me, if I put my leftovers in the fridge, they are still mine because I ordered them at the restaurant. To Adam, once leftovers are put inside the fridge they are “free game” no questions asked.  I still don’t know who won that argument but it’s okay… we disagree and we laugh about it.

Obviously there are more things we disagree about than just restaurant leftovers but we’ve learned to talk through them and come up with a satisfactory compromise. In the end, one of us may need to sacrifice more than the other, but that’s okay because we love each other and know that disagreements and compromises are normal and necessary.

I’m a lot more emotional than him.

“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” 1 Peter 3:7

I knew I was a lot more emotional than Adam (stressful pre-wedding moments brought that out!) but I don’t think either of us realized how much until we got married! While adjusting to marriage was pretty easy, adjusting to a new town and a new church was a lot harder for me. There were definitely some emotional moments in the first few months. I’m still an emotional creature but Adam’s getting used to it. 😉

Evenings at home (together) are the best.

“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?” Ecclesiastes 4:9-11

Now that we’re married, we value our evenings together so much. It’s hard when we both work all day and then need to come home and rush off to another commitment. It really eats up free time that should be spent catching up, communicating, and cultivating our relationship as husband and wife. Church is one thing, but over-scheduling our evenings can really take it’s toll on us. We love quiet evenings at home, enjoying a nice dinner, studying, reading, or watching a movie together.

It could always be better.

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform [it] until the day of Jesus Christ:” Philippians 1:6

Our marriage will never be 100% perfect. The house could always be a little more clean. One of us could always be a little more loving and understanding of the other person. We could always spend more time together. There is an endless list of marriage books and DVDS and resources to watch…

There will always, always, be something to work on.

As a couple we should never stop praying, learning, reading, or striving for a better marriage and relationship. We shouldn’t strive for perfection in our relationship, but we should constantly be growing and improving upon what’s already there.

So many couples get to a comfortable place in their relationship and then stop working to improve it. They become comfortable with something “good” instead of reaching for “better” and “best.”

I don’t ever want to get too comfortable where we are. Our marriage is not perfect but it’s good. I want to make sure it continues to get better so that we can reach “the better and the best” that God intended for every couple.

Marriage doesn’t need to be perfect to be wonderful.

“Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.” Proverbs 15:17

We’ve definitely had a great first year of marriage – but that does NOT mean it’s been perfect. We’ve had our share of rough days and the occasional bad week. However, in spite of our imperfections it’s still absolutely wonderful.

Realizing that things don’t need to be perfect to be wonderful is KEY to having a joy-filled life, relationship, marriage, etc. When we let go of perfection, we allow life to be wonderful just the way it is.

Our Favorite Marriage Book

Adam and I read marriage books prior to marriage, and we still read marriage books now that we’re married. Some books we’ve read together, but most we’ve read independently. Together, our favorite marriage book is an oldie but a goodie. It’s written from a very conservative, old-fashioned perspective, and it is so helpful and incredibly practical. We both agree that it’s our favorite!

The Right Romance in Marriage By Cathy Rice

I am not sharing a photo of this book, because the cover looks so old and outdated it will probably scare you away! 🙂

Please take our word and know that this is an excellent book for any Christian couple. We read this book independently before we got married and have read it together as a married couple. I would highly recommend that you read this book -whether you are married or single, it will give you a good, solid, biblical perspective on marriage!

Final Thoughts

Well Friend, that wraps up my thoughts on our first year of marriage. Every marriage is unique, so please don’t compare my marriage with your’s or vice versa. God has a unique plan for each couple. I hope that this post is both an encouragement and an inspiration to any and all who read it. Whether you’re married or single, I hope and pray that this post has been a blessing. May it equip you with knowledge for your own future marriage (Lord-willing), or encourage you to pursue a deeper relationship with the spouse God has already given you!

With lots of love,