Every young woman who is single will deal with it differently. Some enjoy singleness while others seem to despise it. Personally, I wish I would have begun treasuring my single years even sooner.
I am looking forward to the day that I marry the man God has for me, and get to care for a home and children (if that is God’s will for my life). But I would much rather be single than in a relationship that’s not meant for me.
Maybe you’re a single young woman and you feel a little worried. No eligible young man has made an appearance or maybe you’re still reeling from a failed relationship. Whatever the case, this post is for all of you single girls out there still waiting for “the one”.
Thoughts & Tips for the Single Christian Girl
1) Singleness is a gift
Singleness really is a gift whether you believe it or not. Being single often means we have more time, more opportunities, and more freedom. Some married women look back on their single years and wish they would have treasured them more. Don’t be one of them. Realize that singleness is a gift and start treating it like one!
2) A relationship will not make you happy
Being in the right relationship can definitely add happiness to your life. However, a young man is not going to permanently make you happy. You can be in a relationship and still feel absolutely unhappy. If you are looking for a boyfriend to make you happy, you both will be disappointed and miserable.
3) Being “desperate” is unattractive
Girls that are always talking about their desire for a relationship, aren’t going to attract the right kind of young man. A young woman who is content being single and isn’t sitting around waiting for a young man, is going to be way more attractive to the right guy when he does come around. Think about this… when Mr. Right shows up, do you think he wants to find you pining after guys and a relationship? No. He will be happy to know you have been loving your life and living it to the full while patiently and contentedly waiting for him.
4) No relationship is better than the wrong relationship
It is much better to be single then to be in a relationship that was not meant for you. Don’t ever rush into a relationship… this will only cause problems in the future and possibly heartache for the both of you. Know this: you are much better off without a boyfriend than in a relationship with the wrong guy!
Keeping these things in mind, let’s…
5) prepare for the future
Like I said, I wish I began treasuring my single years much sooner. This is the time to prepare for our future, work hard, save money, make memories, and cultivate the kind of character a godly young man will look for and treasure. This is also a great time to serve God while we don’t have the responsibilities that come with being a wife. Let’s take advantage of being single, while we still have the time!
6) grow Spiritually
The most important thing we can do in our single years is grow in our walk with God. Learn what the Bible says, memorize it, meditate on it. Pray and talk to God. Learn about God and learn how to walk with Him. Our faith and relationship with God will sustain us now and help us so much in the future. If we make God a priority while we are single, it will be easier to keep Him the top priority when we are married.
7) observe young men
I am not saying you should be checking out every guy that comes along. However, learn to observe young men. Watch how a young man treats his mom or his sister(s). Watch how he handles anger. Watch how he interacts with young women. Learn to observe so that you can discern between “godly” characteristics, “good” characteristics, and “ungodly” characteristics. The goal is not to find a “good boyfriend” but a godly boyfriend. Observe young men so you can discern the difference.
8) Observe married couples
I think it’s lots of fun to observe married couples. I think it’s super sweet when they still hold hands or give each other “the look”. By observing married couples we can learn so much. We can learn what to look for in a future husband and what things we would really like to avoid in a future relationship. Let’s observe married couples and learn from them.
9) Be-friend young wives and moms
Most of us aren’t that much younger than some wives and moms. Let’s befriend them and learn from them. We can encourage them and they can do the same for us. If anything, they may be able to give us a healthy dose of reality! 😉
10) Pray about the future
You may or may not choose to pray for your future husband. That is a personal choice… God doesn’t have marriage planned for everyone. Whether you pray for him or not is up to you… but we must be praying about our future. We should be praying for wisdom, direction, and guidance. Let’s make time to pray about our future.
More thoughts for the single girl…
I just mentioned that marriage isn’t for everyone. Maybe you are really worried now! Don’t let the fear of being “single forever” keep you from serving God or living a fulfilling life. If God hasn’t revealed a young man for you yet, you can be sure He has something wonderful in store for your life -whether it’s an amazing man down the road or a life of fulfilled singleness, choose to have faith in His plan. It’s tough but faith is so much better than fear. Just trust Him.
I agree with this 100%, Rebekah! Great post!!
Thank you for this post! I’ve learned so much about this recently, even though I’m still just a teen and have a while to go, and relationship is no where on the radar yet 🙂
First, I’ve learned that it’s not God’s timing yet. I’ve just got to live one day at a time, and He’ll give me the love of my life when it’s HIS perfect time. And until then, it’s obviously not time! I’ve just got to remind myself that God still has plans for me while I’m single, and it’s my job to make the most out of this time.
Second, don’t train yourself to look on the outward appearance of a guy. I know so many girls who like guys just because their cute. A merely cute guy is not who you want to marry – you want to marry who he is on the INSIDE. So, don’t fall in love with a guy’s looks, because looks are deceiving!
Third, observe young men, and evaluate them, like Rebekah said. Do they fall short in a non-negotiable area? When you’re in love, it’s easy to refuse to believe the dirty truth about the person you love. You tend to think of them as the perfect guy. NOT TRUE. If he misses the mark, run!
Fourth, be open and listen to your parents. Let them know who your crushes are (even if it’s a little awkward and embarrassing). It’s good for your parents to know what is going on. Get their opinion of the guy long before a possible relationship starts.
Fifth, realize that this day may come sooner than you expect! I didn’t expect any guy “drama” for years… and it happened. A guy started telling me how he felt about me. Granted, he was very immature and shouldn’t have said that at his age (it was immediately addressed).
But keep in mind that this type of thing MAY BE COMING SOONER than you expected! Know your standards. Talk to you parents and ask them what they want you to do if something like that happens or if a guy approaches you when you’re unprepared.
These are just a few things I’ve been learning lately. I hope they were a blessing to someone out there! 🙂
Great thoughts, Grace!! Thank you for taking the time to share. I am glad you are not getting ahead of things in the area of relationships. Stay focused on the Lord during your single teen years 🙂
I believe you are an adult now and I hope you can remember this
Thanks for this encouraging post. When is the last week of camp??
Hey Michaela, I’m back!! Last week was the last full week of camp and yesterday we finished the final camp retreat. I got back late yesterday afternoon 🙂 I will respond to your email soon!
Thank you for these great reminders! I’m 29 years old and I would be lying to say every day has been easy. But God has helped me to see my single years as a gift. I’ve had so many opportunities to serve and grow. Over the past year God’s helped me to see that if I’m not content in Him now I won’t be content once married either. And He reminds me regularly that singleness is so much better than the wrong relationship! Thanks again for the great reminders! 😊
Thank you for being honest, Laura. I’m sure some days are harder than others. Just stay focused on the Lord. Serving HIM is one of the most exciting things you can do with your life and being a single young woman allows you to have even more opportunities! Embrace any opportunities to serve our Lord!!
Hi Rebekah! I’m from Brazil and came to know your blog today (on Pinterest). Loved reading this post! God bless you always. ♡
I’m glad you found my blog -thanks for reading and leaving a comment 🙂
Hi there. Your phone post is powerful. Thank you for for the insight. I am now 68 and have turned down three proposals. Now I look back and at least with a couple wished I had’nt. It’s a lonely place. However My Father God fills in the company. I’ve prayed for a husband so I guess when the time is right or not, He will make it happen. Thanks again for your post. I live in California so I have a lot of options, but unless My father approves, it’s not going to happen. Will I know? Angela
Hi Angela, yes if it is God’s will for you to be married, He will show you who that person is at the right time! Prayer is key!
Amazing tips. I am mind blown and I see being single from a totally different perspective now. God Bless you and I love your blog.
Hi Sheila, hope this post helps you!!
Rebekah~
Thanks for your insight on this post. I am 38-year-old single gal with cerebral palsy. As time goes on, it gets harder and harder for me as I see I friends get engaged or married. Keep putting posts like this this out there. I hope you don’t mind but can I put your blog on my blog? Thanks again for your positive role model
I hope this post was a blessing!! Yes, you may share my blog on your’s, as long as you link back to my site. Thank you.
Thank you so much for the advice. i believe that our lives are not going to be the same as we grasp and put every word in action . as for me i’m quite encouraged yesterday i was praying for my future and every point that you have shared is true.I have a question , lets say you have find the Godly guy that you have been praying for and the guy did not court you you are still friends as usual . how do you deal with the matter should you let go the issue or should you continue to hold on maybe one day the tables will be changed and turn unto my favour ,some of the times you can include him in your prayers and the staff .
Hi Grace,
In the matter of being friends with a Godly guy who has not made any moves towards courtship, I would encourage the young woman to surrender him to Lord (so to speak). Meaning, give the situation to God, continue to pray about it, but be careful not to set your heart on something (someone!) that may never become a reality. I hope this helps!
Rebekah
This was such a blessing!
❤️❤️❤️
These are great tips. If not for me, then for my daughters. Thanks for sharing!
I hope they are helpful for your daughters! ❤️
literally best post thanks for share.
Thank you so much for the advice.
Such a nice article.
“faith is so much better than fear”
Love that! I definitely need to learn that lesson. Thank you so much for the godly truth and advice that you share on your blog!
This post was so helpful! Thank you for sharing such godly counsel! It is such a good reminder that God always has a perfect plan for our lives, and that we should seek to honor Him in each stage of our lives. This post was such a blessing, Rebekah. Thank you so much! 😊