I’ve been married for just a little over six months now. So far, marriage is the best adventure I’ve ever begun. However, that’s partly due to the fact that I’ve married an absolutely, incredible man. 🙂 And this week, my amazing hubby is turning 24.

Last year, in honor of Adam’s birthday, I wrote a special blog post for him which you can read here.

He loved it, and it was one of my favorite posts to write – for obvious reasons!

This year I want to share another post in honor of my husband.

I’ve been truly blessed, and sometimes I wonder why in the world God blessed me with such an incredible husband. I genuinely hope that each one of you can marry a godly, caring, and loving man just like I did. For that reason, I’ve taken some time to think about some of my husband’s shining character traits and how they me and our marriage for good.

For those of you who are single, I hope and pray that this list will encourage you to never settle for less than God’s best when it comes to a life-time mate. May this post inspire you to pray for your future husband (if marriage is God’s plan for your life)…. and set high standards for any young man who wants to court/date and eventually marry you.

I didn’t just “get lucky” with a wonderful husband. It was God who brought us together. We sincerely prayed for God’s will and he led us to each other.

We didn’t get lucky as a couple, because God brought us together in his time.

When you choose to follow God’s plan for your life… wonderful things are going to happen!!

With all that being said, I want to share the character traits that every girl should pray for concerning their future husband.

What Every Christian Girl Needs in a Husband

A Man Who Loves God

“For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments…” 1 John 5:3a

This is the first and most important “character trait” to look for in a man.

If a man genuinely loves the Lord, then you better believe he is going to love you! A man that loves the Lord will be concerned with following God’s commands. And a man who follows God’s commands is going to love his wife and his family, because He knows that’s what God has called him to do!

It amazes me how often my hubby says something like… “I am going to do this for you because I am supposed to love you like my own flesh.” Or… “If you are hurting, then I am hurting, because God made us one flesh.”

To me, that exemplifies a true love for God… because my hubby is willing to love me the way God intends a man to love his wife.

“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.” Ephesians 5:28

(P.S. I will also mention here, that a Christian young women should never date/court an unsaved man. To do so, would clearly go against God’s commands. A Christian should only date/court, and marry a Christian. See 2 Corinthians 6:14-17)

A Man Who is a Spiritual Leader

“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” Ephesians 5:23-24

This is so, so important in a marriage! God created husbands to lead their wives, and as a wife, my job is to submit to my husband’s leadership. This often sounds ridiculous in our feminist culture, but it’s the way God designed things to be in a marriage, and God’s ways are always best.

Because Adam is such a great leader, I can rest in the fact that I don’t need to lead. I am not responsible for the final decisions we make as a couple. I am supposed to help, support, and encourage my hubby… and I should be free to share my thoughts and feelings about certain matters. In the end it’s Adam who is supposed to make the final decision and he is responsible for the consequences of those decisions (good or bad).

Because my husband is such a good leader, I am not fearful of the decisions he might make. Instead, I have great confidence in his leadership, and I know that he won’t make an important decision without first getting my thoughts and feelings on the matter. Which leads me to the third character trait I love…

A Man Who is Considerate

“Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” Philippians 2:4

I am amazed at how much my husband considers my thoughts and feelings. I realize we’ve only been married 6 months, so some of you may be skeptical saying, “oh that won’t last”. However my husband’s consideration for my thoughts and feelings has only increased since we’ve gotten married.

If Adam knows that I am unhappy for any reason… He will ask me questions and then do whatever it takes to lift my spirits.

Looking back I can think of countless examples to share with you – from getting me out of an uncomfortable situation to a simple thing like filling the gas tank when I was worried I wouldn’t have enough for the next day.

Girls, do you realize how wonderful it is to have a husband who takes action to relieve me of my fears and concerns?

So many men aren’t concerned with the (sometimes unnecessary) little concerns or fears that their girlfriends/wives express. They shove them off and often make their lady feel worse.

If you are dating/courting a man who doesn’t take your thoughts and feeling into consideration, you may want to seriously rethink your current relationship. God calls men to love their wives. If a man truly loves you, he will take your thoughts and feelings into consideration and then act accordingly.

A Man With a Good Work Ethic

“He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent maketh rich. He that gathereth in summer is a wise son: but he that sleepeth in harvest is a son that causeth shame.” Proverbs 10:4-5

At first glance, this may not seem so important in the scale of things – but it is!

When you get married, your husband becomes your provider and protector. You might work a job and help to support the family, but ultimately, that is your husbands responsibility – not yours. If you marry a man without drive and determination… then prepare yourself. You may just end up with a lazy husband who doesn’t follow through in his responsibility to provide for his family.

What are some signs of man without drive and determination? Here are some obvious red flags to watch out for:

• Spending too much time watching TV/playing video games
• Lack of a consistent job/constantly changing jobs
• No clear goals or purpose in life
• No plan for the immediate or long-term future
• Lack of interest in anything truly worthwhile or productive

I’m incredibly grateful to be married to a man that has both a drive to work and a strong determination to see his goals met. Knowing that my man isn’t going to waste his time and jump around from job to job, or idea to idea, gives me security. I know that Adam is going to do whatever it takes to provide for me. I also know that Adam has clear goals and plans for the future, which means I am not going to be stuck with a lazy hubby who sits on the couch watching TV all day. (Oh that’s right, we don’t have a TV!) 😉

A Man Who is Pure

“But fornication [immoral relationships before marriage] and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;” Ephesians 5:3

It’s becoming harder and harder for young men and women to maintain moral purity in this day and age. However, it’s still possible.

By making a commitment to purity before entering a relationship, and by setting high standards for that relationship, it is possible for both men and women to remain physically pure for their future spouse. God’s design for every young person is to keep themselves wholly pure for the spouse they will one day marry. God’s plan remains the same, and his ways are always best!

Many young adults have already failed in the area of purity. But earnestly pray for a man that has kept himself pure for you!

Many of you may have already made some mistakes in the area of purity. Those sins must be confessed, and utterly forsaken. (I John 1:9) God will forgive, however, you must leave those sins in the past. Just because you may have failed in the past, does not mean that you have to settle for less than God’s best when it comes to the man you marry.

I am so thankful to the Lord, that both my husband and I remained physically pure before marriage. This make our relationship so special. This doesn’t mean we didn’t make some mistakes as teenagers, but we saved our physical relationship for marriage only.

Think long and hard about ever entering into a relationship with a young man who has an impure past. Sin can be confessed and forsaken, but the consequences are always there. (You need to seek wise counsel from godly parents and godly authorities before making this kind of decision.)

P.S. Something else, that’s ultra important: watch how a young man interacts with other women. Are his actions pure and appropriate or flirtatious and forward? Avoid any young man who expresses inappropriate conduct around young ladies.

A Man That is Slow to Anger

“Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.” Proverbs 22:24-25

I think these two verses make it very clear: do not be friends with those who have anger problems! Of course, if we shouldn’t even be friends with an angry person, it certainly isn’t wise to marry a man who has an anger problem.

If you marry a man with a temper, you could be setting yourself up for a miserable existence. Most likely you will have to face the brunt of your husbands angry outbursts…. and so will your children. Having an angry husband means that you will be prone to anger yourself since it’s hard to stay calm in the presence of an angry person. Your children will also learn to lash out in anger because they see it in the home.

These are very serious things to consider when you are dating/courting a young man. It’s easy to put your best foot forward in a relationship. But, if the young man is prone to getting upset and angry… be warned. You may want to reconsider.

Thankfully I was blessed with a very calm father, and now I am married to a very calm husband. Neither one is prone to angry outbursts. I grew up in a peaceful home, and my husband and I are now establishing a peaceful home of our own. Because my husband is slow to anger, I don’t have to be fearful of angry outbursts… I don’t need to walk in eggshells around my husband.

This should be a deal breaker for any man you consider for “husband material”. If he has a temper or is prone to angry outbursts…. he is not worthy of your affection.

A Man With a Good Name

“A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favor rather than silver and gold.” Proverbs 22:1

When I say a “good name” I do not mean that a man must have an attractive sounding name. A “good name” is synonymous for a good reputation.

When Adam first expressed interest in establishing a relationship with me… my parents asked around to find out more about his reputation. Some of the people they talked to were his college professors, teachers, and former youth pastor. (Sounds tough right?) I’m happy to say that the results of those conversations were positive. He had a good reputation among those who knew him.

When you marry a young man, you take his last name. With that name you also take his former and future reputation. Rarely will people think of you without also thinking of your husband.

If you marry a man who has the reputation of a rebel, then is it safe for most people to assume that you have a rebellious streak as well. If you marry someone with the reputation of being carnal, you will most likely inherit that reputation too. However, if you marry a godly man with a good reputation, you will most likely inherit a good reputation as his wife.

Don’t ruin a godly, Christ-like reputation by marrying a man with an ungodly reputation.

A Man That Is Wise With Money

“There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise; but a foolish man spendeth it up.” Proverbs 21:20

So many people (men and women!) don’t know how to manage money. They know how to spend it… but very few know how to properly earn, save, invest, and manage their dollars and cents.

If you are a single young woman, make it your goal to learn how to manage your money. But don’t stop there! Pray for a man that is wise with money. As a future wife, your husband will (hopefully) be the main provider for your family. If one (or both) of you don’t know how to properly manage money, then you can bet you will run into lots of issues in the future.

I’ve been blessed with a financially-savvy hubby. (Actually, he’s a tight-wad but I love him for it!) He doesn’t like to spend, but he is still willing to take me shopping (he knows that I balance him out!).

Because I have a financially-savvy hubby, I know that our finances are in good hands. We’ve also learned how to live on very little simply because my husband knows how to budget and keep expenses down. This gives me a lot of peace and security!

Final Thoughts

Above all else… seek God’s Will in your choice of a life-time mate. Choosing a spouse is not child’s play – it’s a life altering decision. Don’t make the mistake of choosing your spouse on your own. Leave that decision up to the Lord, and don’t settle for anything less that His perfect will!

Want to Learn More?

Marriage is a very serious decision. It’s easy to make mistakes in this area, so be sure discuss any potential relationship with godly parents or a godly pastor, teacher, or counselor.

Growing up, I read some really good books that helped to give wisdom and insight into this crucial topic. Here are the the top three books that I would recommend:

Just Friends

Before You Meet Prince Charming

Discover Your Destiny

(All three of these books would be best read before you begin a relationship, but can still be helpful for those already in a relationship).

I Would Love to Know

What ONE character trait is the most important to you?

Please share your answer, and your own thoughts in the comments below!

And here is an info-graphic for you to save, or pin!

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