Happy Tuesday!

Today is launch day for the book Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart by sisters, Kristin Clark and Bethany Beal. As promised I am here to share my review.

But first things first.

Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart is the THIRD book written by the creators of Girl Defined – a blog helping girls “get back to God’s design”. The first two books are Girl Defined and Love Defined which I unfortunately haven’t had the chance to read yet!

I’ve been following the Girl Defined Blog for several years (and I am sure many of you have heard of it as well). I certainly don’t agree with everything on the blog, but I do appreciate the strong stand these sisters have taken on areas such as abortion, homosexuality, moral purity, and more. I don’t agree however, with many of their lifestyle choices and standards – using numerous Bible versions, contemporary music, dancing, etc.

When I agreed to be on the launch team for this new book, I certainly had mixed feelings. As said before, I appreciate these sisters and their blog but certainly don’t see eye-to-eye with everything they put out… the topic of this new book also made me nervous.

Should I really review a book about sex and purity on my blog?!?

In the end, I decided I would give the book a try and I am truly glad that I did. So here goes my full, honest review, and unfiltered opinion about this book.

Book Review: Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart

This book is not for everyone.

Since today is launch day for this book, many people across the US will be encouraging Christian girls to purchase and read this book. But I personally don’t believe this book should be read by every Christian girl out there. Here’s who should (maybe shouldn’t) read this book:

You should read this book IF: you’ve grown up in an un-sheltered Christian home, you’ve grown up in the public school system, you’ve been struggling with sexual sins, or you really don’t know what the Bible teaches about homosexuality, purity, etc. If you fall under this category, then yes, you would benefit from this book!

You probably shouldn’t read this book IF: you’ve grown up in a very sheltered Christian home, you have been home schooled in a very safe environment, or you are barely a teenager and haven’t been taught very much about sex yet.

This book is very upfront and candid about the topics of sex and purity. If I had read this book as a teenager, I would have felt very uncomfortable and probably would have felt like I completely lost my innocence. But, unlike some girls, I grew up in a very godly home, I didn’t need to learn about some of these things until I was older. And when I did, it was from my parents, not from the world or my peers.

If a young girl from a sheltered, conservative Christian home, reads this book on her own, she may come away from this book knowing about things she would have been better off learning from her parents…not from a book. She may even come away with more questions and confusion than before. If possible, I would much rather see godly moms, or mentors work through the information in this book with young women – instead of them reading if for themselves and having no where to turn with their own struggles, questions, and concerns.

I most definitely would have benefited from the biblical teaching and principles outlined in this book if, perhaps, my mom and I had gone through it together as a book study. But I don’t think that reading this book on my own as a single teenage girl would have been the healthiest thing for me.

For those of you questioning whether or not you should read this book, pray about it! Then ask yourself these questions:

• Is there someone godly in my life that would be willing to read this book before I do, or at least read it with me?

• Is there someone godly in my life that I can turn to with any questions or concerns this book may bring to light?

The last thing I want to see is a young girl reading this book and coming away feeling as if she has lost her innocence and not having a godly woman to turn to with her questions and concerns.

To all my friends choosing what books to read: Please be careful. Use wisdom and discretion before picking up a book and reading it from cover to cover. Have someone godly and stable in your life who can help keep you accountable! Allow your parents to filter the books that you read!

Excerpts from the Book

After my rather long-winded caveat….I want to share some of my favorite quotes and excerpts from this book. That way you can get a little taste of the writing style and what this book has to say. Here are some of my favorite quotes that I highlighted and outlined throughout this book:

“[God’s] design for sex, marriage, and womanhood, is stunningly beautiful. He is for these things and wants to show us how to embrace them rightly. When we take God at His word and put our trust in His plan, we will experience true freedom as never before. Will it be easy? No way… But the fight is undoubtedly worth it. God’s ways are always better.” (pg. 75 Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart)

“Before we can have a conversation about sex, we need to have a conversation about God. A lot of voices offer conflicting messages about sex, marriage, and identity, so who are we going to listen to? Will the we turn to God for answers or will we listen to the popular voices of society? Will we listen to our own feelings and opinions, or will we research what the Bible teaches? (pg. 76 Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart)”.

“God created you to be a female. He chose your gender for you. Your sexual identity is a beautiful, God-assigned reality. May we, as Christian women, lean into that truth and strive to embrace His design for our womanhood.” (pg, 84 Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart)

“The desire to be truly known and loved is actually at the very core of who God created us to be. As our Father, God longs to know each one of us on a personal level. He wants to have a deep and meaningful relationship with each of us.” (pg. 95 Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart)

“Sexual purity is not just about saying no to sex before marriage; it’s about taking every thought captive and living in a way that reflects the perfect holiness of your Father. It’s ultimately about embracing your identity as a daughter of God and striving every day to become more like Him. That’s the identity God has called you to walk in.” (pg. 109 Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart)

Other Thoughts (Positive and Negative)

Negative…

Bible Versions: I wish the authors would just use the King James Version but like most new evangelical authors they do not. The Bible versions mentioned in the book come from the ESV, NIV, KJV, and NLT. If you ask me, this just creates confusion.

Lack of Clear Boundaries: While this book definitely had some amazing suggestions and action steps, when it comes to romantic relationships, they really didn’t give very clear boundaries or suggestions at all. In one sentence they basically said the Bible is pretty silent on boundaries in relationships. I don’t quite think that is true (see 1 Cor. 7) and I think some girls could have benefited from some clear boundaries and suggestions.

Positive…

Personal Examples and Stories: I appreciate Kristin’s and Bethany’s willingness to open up about their own struggles as teenagers. They do not present themselves as poster children for purity. They readily admit their mistakes in the hopes that we can learn from them.

Covers all the Basis: This book really does cover a lot. I appreciate that the book is very thoroughly written. They touched on the topics that are the most relevant for young women growing up in this sex-obsessed and gender-confused society.

It’s Not a Culteral Problem – It’s a Sin Problem: I was so glad that this book did not push for cultural reform or fixing the surface problems produced in our culture. No, Kristin and Bethany clearly write that all these issues stem from a SIN problem. We will never have victory and freedom until we get our relationship with the Lord right and thoroughly address the issues of sin in our life.

It’s Not Just the Guys: Not only did Kristin and Bethany clearly define that the issues we are facing are SIN problems, they also made it very clear that lust is not just a guy problem. It’s a human problem. Because of sin, we can ALL struggle with sexual sin – not just the guys.

Final Thoughts

• Is this book good and necessary? YES!

• Is the information about sex and purity in this book biblically based? YES!

• Do young women need to be taught the principles found in this book? YES!

• Should every Christian girl read this book? NO!

Please prayerfully consider whether or not you should read this book. if you’re a mom, I would encourage you to pick up a copy to read and share with your daughter for when she is ready. ♥

Friends, I hope this review was helpful to you and can help you determine whether or not this book is right for you. If you’re still not sure, take a look at the chapter titles or read more about here to see what exactly they address in this book, or shoot me a question below and I’ll do my best to answer!

Feel free to share your thoughts, comments and questions below! ♥

Until Next Time,